


my stars, my home, my love

by gracezodiac



Series: stars above [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: M/M, Pre-Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-16
Updated: 2016-06-16
Packaged: 2018-07-15 10:18:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7218556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gracezodiac/pseuds/gracezodiac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And in his most private thoughts, Luke would admit that as strange and ridiculous as it may be, Han felt like home. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  <i>Or: Luke contemplates his feelings towards Han.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	my stars, my home, my love

**Author's Note:**

> i was giving the prompt 'pining lots of gay pining' so here we go!
> 
> this was supposed to be a drabble but i can't ever stop myself so here we are
> 
> set just before the events of esb!
> 
> warnings: angst (that's p much it)
> 
> please leave comments and i hope you enjoy!!!

Luke watched idly from across the hanger as Han shouted various orders at the droids trying to help him fix the Falcon. The Corellian didn’t like droids on a good day, but when they were, to quote him directly ‘crawling all over his baby’? He was more than a little adversed to them. Luke had actually come to help him out, finally having a bit of free time in his schedule, but he wanted to wait a few moments, to watch Han tinker about. Which, admittedly, was a bit weird and Luke was well aware of this, but he tried not to think about it too much. 

There was just something in the way Han worked on the Falcon that always made Luke want to stop and watch. The way he treated each component, giving his full and undivided attention to his ship was... Intimate. Luke was familiar with the feeling, after having patched up his own speeder on Tattooine many a time, and he knew his X-Wing inside out at this point. But they were only small crafts in comparison to the Falcon, not to mention all the modifications Han had made to her. But that was the thing about it, there was so much to the Falcon, and yet when Han was focused on fixing or tinkering with something, it was clear he knew about every single part of that ship, right down to the screw casings. And yet it was all treated with the same close intimacy, despite the size of it.

It was the only thing that ever got Han's undivided attention.

It wasn't that he was _jealous,_ per say, it would be silly to be jealous over a ship. It was more along the lines of curiosity. It wasn't exactly a secret that he admired the smuggler; his relaxed nature and free spirit were something that, although at times irritated Luke to no end, he respected regardless. As much as Luke felt Han belonged here with the rebels (with _him_ ), he knew Han wasn't one to be tied down, would rather be exploring the edges of the galaxy, chasing the stars.

Luke couldn't blame him. He felt that pull too.

But Luke knew his own path, knew what he had to do. He was needed here, with the rebels, and he was also to become a Jedi. And whilst he'd made that choice himself, after finding his Aunt and Uncle dead, it often felt like he was following some pre-determined path. It wasn't that he minded becoming a Jedi, more than anything he wished to follow in his fathers footsteps, it was just... A part of him just wanted to see the stars. 

But no, he wasn't jealous of Han's ship. He was simply curious, wondering what that attention would be like turned on something, or someone else – someone like him. To have Han know every part of him, inside and out, know exactly how he worked and why he did what he did. To be held under that gaze, of fondness and, well, love.

It just sounded nice, that's all. 

He didn't think about it often, it just crept up now and again; idle thoughts that got him wondering. And it wasn't as if Han didn't like him, or didn't pay attention to him, Han seemed to light up whenever Luke was around (and Luke tried not to read into that what he wanted to. They were good friends, that's all). 

In the past few years he'd been with the Rebellion, he'd made a fair few friends. In fact, he got along with most people, and he cherished them all dearly, but whenever he spoke to Han, it felt different. He'd been with him since the beginning of this, after all, it only made sense that there was a stronger companionship there than he had with any of the others. And in his most private thoughts, Luke would admit that as strange and ridiculous as it may be, Han felt like home. 

It wasn't something he could ever tell him, and why would he? It was silly. This whole thing was silly. But... It was true, despite the absurdity of it all. Tatooine had been his home, physically, but it had never really felt like one. When he'd first seen Han in that cantina, he'd been drawn to him, staring openly at this strange, cocky, beautiful man. And now, being around him, Luke just felt undeniably safe, and warm, even with the freezing temperatures of Hoth. He knew Han, knew how to handle his moods, knew how he viewed everything. He'd been a constant in his new life. 

Sometimes, Han would ask him to stay for the night on the Falcon, and they'd sit in the cockpit and just talk about anything. Or rather, Han would do most of the talking, and Luke would listen carefully, since Han was usually complaining about one thing or another. It was slightly endearing, in a way. And usually, once he'd finished complaining, Luke would quietly ask him to talk about all the planets he'd visited, and all the things he'd seen. Even if Luke would never be able to see these places himself, it was nice to hear about them and imagine what they must be like.

He always looked forward to those nights, although they were becoming further and further apart, now that the Empire had started to really crack down on the search for them. More often than not, Luke was too busy running errands for Leia, or helping with the speeders, which still weren't ready to fly. But he had time today, and tonight. He hoped Han would ask him to stay again, but he'd just have to wait and see.

As Han cursed at another droid, Luke shook himself out of his thoughts, and recognised that he really ought to go over and start helping out. With a smile on his face he strolled over to the Falcon, heart warming as Han spotted him and grinned. 

_You're in love with him,_ a voice whispered in the back of his mind.

 _I know,_ Luke thought, watching as Han waved at him and climbed down from the top of the Falcon, _but it was never meant to be._

“Finally, someone who will actually listen to me!” Han grinned, crossing his arms over his chest as Luke approached. “Don't ever trust a droid kid.”

“Oh I don't know,” Luke replied, “I think they're doing a good job, having to put up with all your shouting. Artoo would have stormed off by now.”

Han scoffed and reached out to ruffle Luke's hair, before wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “Yeah yeah, whatever, droids have feelings too. So you here to help out?”

“I have a clear schedule for the rest of the day.”

“Now that's what I like to hear! C'mon kid, I got plenty for you to do inside.”

With a pat on the back, Han started to walk up the boarding ramp, presuming Luke was following. Luke paused for a moment, however, just smiling at the retreating figure.

“Han?”

“Yeah kid?” Han turned around to face him at the top of the ramp, staring at him curiously. Luke felt his heart beat in his chest, and wondered for a moment if it was worth saying something. But the moment passed, and he shook his head, still smiling.

“Never mind. Lead the way.”

**Author's Note:**

> i didn't mean to have this be so angsty but this happens everytime, what can i say 
> 
> this was going to have han's pov as well but i'm gonna write that as a seperate fic tbh
> 
> please leave comments <3
> 
> also come talk to me about skysolo on [tumblr](http://skywalkeraesthetics.tumblr.com)


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